“The piper in 3A is playing his music too loud again!” shrieked the little man. “Can’t you do something about him?”
Now, this was the fourth time in as many days that Jack and Martin had heard this complaint. So Martin lifted Jack up to the door of 3A, and Jack knocked. The piper, who was stone deaf, did not hear Jack’s knock. Martin gave the door a tap and it fell over. This startled the piper, who tripped over his cat and fell out an open window. As luck would have it, the piper’s fall was broken by the very same grumpy gnome.
The piper and the gnome contacted a lawyer from the tenants’ union. “I only handle rent and eviction cases,” said the attorney. “But if I were you, I’d sue those guys for all they’ve got!”
News of the impending lawsuit quickly spread through the neighborhood. Before long, every one of the beanstalk tenants had added a claim to the class action lawsuit. Jack and Martin were beginning to get worried.
That night, Jack and Martin met to go over their finances. “Let’s see, we have one cow who no longer gives milk, one bag of phony magic beans,” began Jack, “Say, didn’t we have a goose that laid golden eggs?”
“I lost her last month in a game of ‘Go Fish’,” said Martin.
“Rats,” said Jack.
“No, we don’t have any of those, either,” replied Martin.
“Well, what else do we have?” asked Jack. “If we’re going to lose everything in a lawsuit, it would be nice to know what we are losing.”
“Of course, there’s the beanstalk,” said Martin, “and my cache of Really Neat Stuff.”
“A cache of Really Neat Stuff!” exclaimed Jack. “We can’t lose that! We’ve got to hide it!”
Meanwhile, court was convening in the nearby castle. Decrees and judgments were handed down left and right. Clerks had to send out for more red tape while legal aides got lost on long and winding paper trails.
The next day, a Representative from the King’s County Court stopped by Martin’s home in the woods. He found Martin relaxing in his giant bathtub.
“The King’s Court needs to see all of your assets,” announced the Representative.
“What you see is what you get,” answered Martin, with a smirk.
Beside his tub were the old cow, a bag of beans, and a rock. The King’s County Court Representative looked over these things, and then turned to Martin.
“This can’t be all. Where is Jack?”
“That’s him, right there,” replied Martin. “He’s been turned into a rock. He lost a card game with a witch last night.”
This, of course, was a lie. Jack had slipped out during the night with the cache of Really Neat Stuff to hide it where it would not be found. One day, he and Martin hoped to retrieve the cache and live the good life of ‘Go Fish’ wishes and Really Neat Stuff dreams.
As Jack stumbled through the dark woods, he spotted a tiny beam of light down by his feet. Jack bent down to see what it was. There he saw an old rat, carrying a flashlight.
“Uh, say, what are you doing, rat?”
“I’m collecting materials to make a set of chairs. Unfortunately, I really have no idea how to make a set of chairs. But my wife insists that we need some. So every night I am out here looking,” answered the rat, sadly.
“Maybe I can help,” said Jack. “I’m pretty handy. If you will help me hide my little treasure chest, I will help you build some chairs.”
“Say, let me see this treasure box of yours,” said the Rat.
Jack set his cache down before the rat, who climbed up on top of it. The rat sat down, but toppled over when he leaned back. “Well, I guess it’s a nice treasure but it doesn’t make a very good chair.”
“That’s true,” said Jack. “You’ll need chairs that have backs on them. Now please show me where I can hide my cache. It’s nearly daylight.”
Jack and the rat continued along the trail until they came to a small hut. Inside the hut were two women playing cards, Maureen and her sister, Noreen.
“You won again!” shouted Noreen. “I never win. Boo hoo.”
To make a long story somewhat short, Jack and Maureen fell in love and got married. They continued to live out their days in the hut with Noreen, playing cards every night, and Maureen won every time. They hid the cache out behind the hut and left it there because they had a goose that laid golden eggs. (Maureen had won it in a card game.)
Jack made the rat family a fine set of cedar chairs. The court never found Jack but they took the cow, the phony magic beans, and put the rock in prison. Martin was exiled to Moses Lake where he married a troll. He could not take his huge bathtub and the court was unable to move it. So if it is not gone, it is there still. And to this day, everyone knows that Jack’s cache could seat no rat and his wife could beat Noreen.
Jack & The Beanstalk Geocache
nce upon a time, long ago, there was a young man named Jack. Jack lived in a quiet neighborhood with his mother and her boyfriend, a man who sold magic beans. It was common knowledge that Jack had as much sense as a box of rocks. His only intellectual peer was his friend, Martin, the giant. Together they owned a huge beanstalk. Although Jack and Martin were foolish, they were able to lease parts of the beanstalk at a decent profit.
The lower levels had small boutiques and retail outlets. Above these were studio apartments, most of which were occupied by grumpy gnomes. One day, Jack and Martin were playing 'Rock, Paper, Scissors', when they were interrupted by one of their tenants.